Failing at Spirituality (Spiritual Perfectionism) – Teal Swan –

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Hello there, everyone Look today. I’m just gonna get super real with you. I’m gonna blow the whistle We’ve got a serious issue. It’s in the spiritual Community and Shall we say within the world at large And it goes a little something like this unless everything in your life is going perfectly you’re doing something wrong and In order for you to be doing something right everything in your life has to be going well Pretty much the second that we decided or figured out shall I say that mine creates reality and pretty much the second we Realized that law of attraction was the basic principle that our entire time-space reality Operated according to we took that to the worst possible scenario and what we did is we made that mean I Have to focus positively 24 hours a day and filled it all the time or else my entire life is going straight down the tubes We became spiritual perfectionist to the degree that we were actually More self loving when we were unconscious and believed the world was separate from us and that bad things just happened to us So essentially we believe that everything is about positive focus in feeling good, and if we aren’t feeling good We’re out of control and failing miserably The law of attraction is essentially the law of mirroring. It was a genius construct We came up with for this time-space reality because it would enable us to become more self conscious than ever before How genius is that that whatever is inside me is going to reflect externally so I can actually see it and recognize it genius Idea, right Awesome, but almost everything comes with a catch the catch is If your external world isn’t perfect, whose fault is it? your fault so much of the stuff that reflects in our external reality are things within us that we actually have no conscious awareness of Until it shows up externally we call this post manifestation allah Wareness But let’s just say you do recognize something because it shows up externally even when we become she’s aware of it As we all know it’s not that easy to change I mean You can recognize that your spouse living is the reflection of abandonment issues you have but did that awareness caused you to feel great about? Your spouse leaving hell No The bottom Line is we don’t feel good 24/7 but we’ve been told it’s our choice to feel good or bad at all moments of the day So what do we do we feel like failures because our life isn’t picture-perfect, but all we know how to do is try harder So we become self abusive on the name of spirituality What exactly are we expecting of ourselves? Let’s get present to it number one we expect ourselves to be completely aware of everything within us So that there’s never any surprises we have total control over our reality – we expect ourselves to consciously choose everything in our life? So we’re expecting that nothing unwanted ever crosses our path 3 we expect ourselves to change our focus and change the way, we’re thinking Instantaneously, so that we instantly feel good and in fact we maintain this thing – feeling good no matter. What happens to us For we expect ourselves to be the quite literal image of spiritual perfection that we have in our heads Ok so after saying all that if you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking ok That level of pressure has got me actually regretting the fact that I ever became spiritual in the first place like is consciousness worth it is Enlightenment worth it. I don’t think so if it isn’t bad enough that we expect this over selves We expect it of other people, too We face the judgment within the community all the time is if it isn’t bad enough things aren’t going well We get to add Oh guess what you’re creating all of it to the mix so we can essentially burn in the hell fire of self blame So we have a belief that if we weren’t doing something wrong our life would be going Perfect in other words if life, isn’t going perfect. I’m doing something spiritually wrong. I should be feeling good no matter What’s going on? And if I’m not? I’m doing something wrong and bad things are gonna manifest, and I can’t seem to get it right because look at my life So something must be wrong with me. Oh My God ok just like stop for a minute and look at that level of pressure If you to turn this video off to realize what I just said and to realize the amount of pressure You’re under do it because you got to get present to the fact that this is quite literally shame Guess what I did a video on that go take a look at it It’s called how to overcome shame, but this is shame the spiritual community actually supports So depending on your particular Spiritual practice you have an idea of how a spear sleeper fected person should look should act should be feeling what their life should look like essentially and if you’re doing anything less than that your family miserably For example if you’re in some buddhist circles if you’re not at total Peace and a state of non reactivity free from attachment living as a minimalist and brown robes There’s something wrong with you or if you’re in the positive focus law of attraction community if you’re not a millionaire by now with a perfect partner and the best possible career and Wonderful friends and perfect health feeling unconditional love as you drive your new Ferrari down the freeway with positive forward-thinking Attitude there’s something wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you You are not failing if your life is not the image of absolute perfection, especially Spiritual perfection what has happened? Is that your ego has hijacked your spiritual practice It does so all the time So essentially the ego is the only one that is concern was being good versus being bad being right versus being wrong or being Successful versus being a failure and the deeper truth is that you’re still desperately trying to get love by being right good and successful So what should you do you should give yourself that love give yourself compassion and loving care to the aspect of you that feels so unlovable and So much in need of love that it is Desperately trying to cram you into the image that it believes is lovable and perfect and good that Perfect image of the person who is spiritually enlightened the person who has at all the person who’s doing life, right? Realize that you’re dealing with yourself the same way adults in your childhood Did you’re expecting perfection from yourself in order to believe that something is right and lovable about you Sit down and have a come-to-Jesus moment about the pressure that you’re actually putting on yourself You have to realize what you’re actually expecting from yourself for example There’s a major difference between actually feeling forgiveness and expecting yourself to feel forgiveness I’m going to give you a personal example a While back when I had one of these come to Jesus moments about the pressure I was actually putting on myself I realized that as a spiritual teacher. I thought that it was Really important in fact I expected it for myself that I would feel good no matter. What happened I mean, I was in a total state absolute joy regardless And if I wasn’t that meant something was wrong with me So just so you get the pressure that even I as a spiritual teacher put on myself What I was expecting is that I felt good regardless of what the people slandered me on the internet Bert my paintings in public demonstration or sent me death threat letters That’s Super Fair Mm-hmm It’s also super tempting when we have an idea in our heads about how things should be Going or how we should feel or how we should act or what spiritual perfection should look like? To create a facade for ourselves to make ourselves believe we do feel that way We are that way or we think that way when truth? We actually don’t we have a word for this in the spiritual business. We call it spiritual bypassing So if you have this issue with putting a hell of a lot of spiritual pressure on yourself You can believe that the door is wide open for you to fall into the trap of spiritual bypassing for this reason I want you to actually watch my video on YouTube titled spiritual bypassing it is tempting to look at people who you think fit the stereotypical image of your definition of spiritual perfection and to make that the new standard you compare yourself next to But I need to break open this particular shall. We say live for you today This is part of my authenticity movement guess what hate to break it to you so much of it is total pretense I’m around other spiritual teachers all the time I cannot believe how much pretense Exists amongst those of us who are selling to you the idea of the perfect? Spiritual person or the perfect ideal way of living or life? It actually made me nauseous when I entered this particular sphere Now think about this for a minute you may think to yourself. You know what no, I’d actually be able to tell would you? Would you know if I hadn’t just quite literally flat-out told you that I have an issue when the people who are you know? my hate groups essentially when they’re focusing their negative energy at me or slandering me would you expect that that makes me feel good or if I didn’t say anything would you expect that I have such a Transcendent perspective as a spiritual teacher that it would not affect me at all you don’t know what’s really going on with other people when they don’t flat out tell you and Most people won’t flat out tell you because they don’t want to be seen as failures and so you assume You’re the only one that can’t get it, right Here’s another story When I first entered this particular sphere the spiritual teachers fear and I started interacting with other spiritual teachers They would come up to me all the time and say I love what you’re doing with your authenticity movement. It’s so brave It’s so cutting edge. It’s so awesome, and I’d say why aren’t you doing it? You know what they’d say to me? It’s too risky because if people actually saw how we felt and the stuff that happens behind the velvet curtain they wouldn’t listen to our message and guess what they’re right a Lot of times people they will hear the truth about what’s going on behind the velvet curtain With those of us that are supposed to be spiritually perfect And they say wow that person feels negative emotion in the scenario and they shouldn’t if they had such transcendental perspective So I don’t really want to listen to what they have to say So no wonder there are many of us who are selling you the image of spiritual perfection who continue selling it? It’s the only reason you listen to us So what happens when other people don’t flat-out tell you what’s going on because they don’t want to be seen as failures You assume you’re the only one that can’t get it, right What if no one can get it right and on top of that in this universe there is no ultimate right? Let that sit in for a minute, right as a matter of perspective, and if you haven’t noticed yet No one agrees on that perspective so right versus wrong is an entirely subjective experience Let yourself off the hook There is no way to get it wrong. Why because there is no writing in the sky that says what’s wrong Have you noticed that? Yeah, if you knew what was wrong, and knew it was right it would be pretty freaking easy to live your life, right? But that doesn’t exist So if you can’t get life wrong, then you can’t get life, right? That can either cause you pain, or it can set you free What if you stopped expecting yourself at this very minute to feel good because feeling bad doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you Would it be okay not to feel good? What if you stopped expecting yourself at this very minute to have the perfect job at the perfect partner to be a millionaire by now? Because not having those things doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you Would it be okay to be where you are? Right now at this minute? I want you to make a list of the things you disapprove of about yourself To find that all you got to look at is. What do you expect of yourself that you’re completely failing at? after you write that list for each point I want you to find approval for it if You can’t do it on your own involve other people in this process because they are all coming at this from a different perspective Maybe they can see some angles you can’t see But what I want you to do Is to think about this, how is it good not just okay? How is it good to feel bad? How is it good to be reactive? How is it good to have no money? If you flat-out disapprove of an aspect of yourself that is true in this moment You’re in resistance to it is all you get is more of what is When you look at the things you expect from yourself or desperately want to reach I want you to have another come to Jesus moment, but this time about why you want those things also, take a look at what you’re trying to get away from to the opposite side of those things that you want for example a Person may want a perfect partner because they want to feel a sense of being loved and valued because of the opposite side they hate The feeling of being alone with the feeling of being unlovable and worthless which is the truth of how they actually feel about themselves The bottom line is you have been trying to do it this way for a really long time And in case you haven’t noticed yet. It’s not working. You’ve just added your name to another Incredibly long list of people who enter this spiritual field specifically because they think that spirituality is going to somehow perfect them so they become more lovable which means you’ve just added your name to the psychotically long list of self haters in the spiritual community it’s full of them if you knew you were never gonna be able to get it right what then What would be possible then? What would you do instead? Take the pressure off because you’re not failing Imagine a world Where everything you experienced was okay the way it was Imagine accepting what is, that doesn’t mean surrendering in a state of defeat to what is. It means embracing what is. Imagine if it was okay, and correct to feel the way you feel Imagine if it was okay, and correct to experience the things you were experiencing Imagine a world were everything the way it is in this moment was lovable the way that it is and valuable Have a good week

 

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