How To Have Fun Without Drinking

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Question of the day: So, how do you go out
to events and have fun when you’re not drinking and it seems like everybody else is. So, three
quick tips that will help you with that, because it’s so tough, sometimes. You can have the
right motivation. Everything can be in order, but if you don’t know how to have a good time
when drinking, it’s easy to slide back into that because you’re like, “This sucks,” right?
“I’m standing here in the corner and I’m not talking to anybody. I want to have fun.” So,
here are the three tips. The first one is to take the good parts of
drinking and emulate them. And what I mean by that is that drinking does do some things
for people. We wouldn’t do it otherwise, right? It helps us lower our inhibitions. It makes
us more like we’d introduce ourselves to people. We play stupid, silly games, and what I
see is when people first stop drinking, they think that they have to stop that. They have
to behave proper, they can’t participate in the games. It’s all b.s. So, if there is a
fun drinking game going on, play with water. If people give you a hassle about that, just
go back to the video about “What to Say When You’re Not Drinking.” It has never been a
problem for me. If you are standing there and you see that you’re against the wall,
and people are starting to mingle, and the people getting drunk are starting to get more talkative,
be the more talkative person first, right? If you set it up as a challenge to yourself
to say, “You know what? I’m going to see if I can have more fun, be more outgoing, more
friendly than anybody else here, even though I’m not drinking,” that intention will carry
over into everything that you do, and you’ll find that you have a much better time, because,
one, you’re in control, but, two, you’re still getting a lot of the benefits. Two, change
your state through dancing. Now, the funny thing about dancing is that if you ask people
whenever they’re out, they will tell you that they intend to wait until they’re very, very
drunk before they start dancing, right? “I’m going to dance when I’m drunk.” The funny thing
about that is that dancing and drinking, while they might be, you know, have different requirements,
dancing seems to take a lot of courage, drinking doesn’t. They have the same effect in a lot
of ways. When you go out into the dance floor, and just for two minutes, cut it up, dance
like a maniac, your inhibitions get lower. You feel much more comfortable. You feel more
expressive in your body. You’re more likely to touch people. So, what I highly, highly recommend is that
rather than just staying locked up like this, you know, completely inexpressive, go to the
middle of the dance floor. If there’s not a dance floor, you should bob around. Find
a spot where you feel comfortable. That can be being seen by lots of people. It might
be being seen by nobody in the very center. But for two minutes, take your friends, get
a circle, and set up like a dance party goof-off challenge thing, right, where you just mess
around, and everybody jumps in the middle and does a ridiculous move, and stay there
for two minutes while dancing a ton; not just bobbing back and forth, but getting your elbows
off of the sides, moving your hands. What you will find, and, Amy Cuddy, a scientist
at Harvard did a study on this, is that when you move your body, and you put into what
they call a “power pose,” that’s the standing confident, when you move your body in a fun
pose, and you’re smiling, and laughing, and doing the limbo, and goofing around, your
brain actually will send those sorts of signals that you would get from drinking, which is
to be less inhibited, to not care as much what other people think, and after only two
minutes, you will start to feel differently than you did when you walked onto that dance
floor. It is awesome. It carries over for a long, long time, and, sometimes, through
the duration of the day, event, or night, or wherever you’re at. So, make sure that
you get into your body. You get expressive, man. When you stand against the wall, you
sabotage yourself. And the third thing that it might seem a little
bit downer to do it, but it’s just stop going to events that suck, right? Don’t go to events
where the entire point of it is to get drunk, and there’s no way to have fun there unless
you’re drinking, and there are bars like this. There are some, even, sporting events that
are like this, where nobody cares about the game. The entire purpose is just to drink.
If people invites you to those, you can still go, but I would recommend is a counter offer,
to say, “Hey, man, I can’t make it today, but I was looking at paintball next weekend.
Do you want to come?” Or say, “Hey, man, I can’t make it to that, but I’m getting a group
together to do dinner at my place on Thursday, are you in?” And, when you start to get more
creative like that, well, guess what? You’re doing fun events that people are going to
enjoy way more because you don’t need to be sloshed to do it. But, secondly, you shift
from the spoke of any sort of social environment where you’re being invited, and you’re just
one person of many, to become the hub. You’re the person setting up the fun events because
you’re the only one that truly cares that the event itself is killer, and it is not
just helped along by everybody being drunk, and not knowing what is going on. So, really,
stop going to events that are no fun at all. If you don’t like dance clubs–I happen to–don’t
go to those. Invite your friends, invite people to something else that is fun. And, just some
ideas–paintball, laser tag, bowling, any thing that has an event, and has something
to do there, right? There is an activity that is going to be way more fun. So, hopefully, that helps you to have more
fun when you’re out. If you want more videos like this, I think this is it for the drinking
series, but if there’s more questions, go ahead, ask me. I’ve been doing this for a
long time, happy to help. Write those in the comments. Subscribe to get more from the channel,
breakdowns and everything, and I will see you in the next video.


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