Is it better this way, or that way? It’s horrible whichever way. It’s not very respectable, really to feel frustrated with one’s appearance. Mature and reasonable people are not supposed to go around regretting the shape of their nose or the way their hair falls. Yet, you gaze in the bathroom mirror and think: Why? In my brief existence on this planet does this have to be me? For those unhappy with their looks pictures are painful each new image brings more bad news yet, this isn’t crazy. We care about our looks for a sound reason: Because everyone judges us by them Because they determine the first response To deal with the challenges of our appearance we need to develop a particular kind of wisdom Here is a start to learning how to cope with one’s looks Personal appearance simply is one of the least democratic parts of life It’s a lottery and you haven’t won. It’s nothing to do with you, nor is it to their credit that it is them. It just is. A bold man would appreciate your hair like no one else will. It’s the ugly who are at the best place to appreciate beauty. Something the beautiful should bear in mind when they’re considering on who bestow their favors. People learn about love from their parents. And when they’re grown up, often search for lovers who remind them a little in some subconscious way of mum or dad. The good news is that often mum or dad were quite weird or ugly looking. That helps to explain the odd choices good looking people sometimes make. Thank god for ugly parents. The world is dominated by an often unfair money hierarchy Against that, it’s refreshing that there’s also this strange looks hierarchy. It doesn’t restore justice, but it thumbs its nose up at other forms of injustice just a little. However unfair the distribution of appearance is today, time will eventually bring justice. No one ends up happy with how they look. It’s just a question of waiting. For some, this enchantment may start at 10. For others, it may take another 40 years. But it will happen, for sure. Rather then saying appearance doesn’t matter you can get better at noticing the less obvious but still real beauty in odder places. The trouble with our culture isn’t so much that we love appearances but that we focus on too narrow range of features and qualities So, start to get interested in someone’s august forehead Note the melancholy sweetness of their eyes Admire an expression of kindly acceptance Point out serenity A trusting face A candid nose There are so many good and attractive things we can see in people’s faces If we’re alert to different types of beauty. And hopefully, someone, somewhere, will one day do the same for us.