Not Liking One’s Looks

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Is it better this way, or that way? It’s horrible whichever way. It’s not very respectable, really to feel frustrated with one’s appearance. Mature and reasonable people are not supposed to go around regretting the shape of their nose or the way their hair falls. Yet, you gaze in the bathroom mirror and think: Why? In my brief existence on this planet does this have to be me? For those unhappy with their looks pictures are painful each new image brings more bad news yet, this isn’t crazy. We care about our looks for a sound reason: Because everyone judges us by them Because they determine the first response To deal with the challenges of our appearance we need to develop a particular kind of wisdom Here is a start to learning how to cope with one’s looks Personal appearance simply is one of the least democratic parts of life It’s a lottery and you haven’t won. It’s nothing to do with you, nor is it to their credit that it is them. It just is. A bold man would appreciate your hair like no one else will. It’s the ugly who are at the best place to appreciate beauty. Something the beautiful should bear in mind when they’re considering on who bestow their favors. People learn about love from their parents. And when they’re grown up, often search for lovers who remind them a little in some subconscious way of mum or dad. The good news is that often mum or dad were quite weird or ugly looking. That helps to explain the odd choices good looking people sometimes make. Thank god for ugly parents. The world is dominated by an often unfair money hierarchy Against that, it’s refreshing that there’s also this strange looks hierarchy. It doesn’t restore justice, but it thumbs its nose up at other forms of injustice just a little. However unfair the distribution of appearance is today, time will eventually bring justice. No one ends up happy with how they look. It’s just a question of waiting. For some, this enchantment may start at 10. For others, it may take another 40 years. But it will happen, for sure. Rather then saying appearance doesn’t matter you can get better at noticing the less obvious but still real beauty in odder places. The trouble with our culture isn’t so much that we love appearances but that we focus on too narrow range of features and qualities So, start to get interested in someone’s august forehead Note the melancholy sweetness of their eyes Admire an expression of kindly acceptance Point out serenity A trusting face A candid nose There are so many good and attractive things we can see in people’s faces If we’re alert to different types of beauty. And hopefully, someone, somewhere, will one day do the same for us.

 

100 Responses

  1. May Mustafa

    October 24, 2018 3:54 pm

    The good thing about being plain/unattractive is that people are less likely to be intimidated by you. The best compliments I get from people are the ones about how I look "familiar" or how I have a "friendly face". It's not only about the features but the expressions one gives that make some faces look "comforting or welcoming" and others "intimidating".

    Reply
  2. David

    November 14, 2018 4:27 pm

    But when your unintelligent and ugly and your whole family is intelligent and beautiful at one point when I was a toddler I was extremely beautiful but as I grew up my relatives asked what happened to me and I honestly don’t know I’ve been through a lot in my life but this is something I can’t just let go of

    Reply
  3. M b

    November 22, 2018 12:38 am

    Being Asian it's not about how good your facial features are but rather how light your skin is. Growing up I would always get complimented on my appearance. Now that I'm 21 my parents being typical Asians are giving me the 'marriage talk'. My mother, fair skinned and very beautiful told me it will be hard for me to find someone decent to marry because I'm dark skinned. I cannot tell you how ugly I felt and how ugly I still feel. Makes me think I'm not worth anyone's time..

    Reply
  4. Mr Krabs

    November 28, 2018 11:46 pm

    Whenever pretty people tell me I am pretty I never believe them I just feel like they are saying that to be nice but it just be like that sometimes

    Reply
  5. Lyvori

    December 5, 2018 3:00 am

    I wished my forehead wasn’t big, I wish there weren’t wrinkles when I lift my brows. I wish I was beautiful and get plastic surgery. I wish my nose didn’t look so big with glasses. I wish my eyes weren’t small. I wish my eyelashes were fuller.

    I can’t change my mind.

    Reply
  6. Jade Auburn

    December 9, 2018 5:00 pm

    I thought this was about not liking one's looks no matter how they looked in reality, did not think it was about accepting being ugly! Makes one believe that if i don't like my looks it means I am indeed ugly. omg 😀

    Reply
  7. c y r i l l e

    December 20, 2018 1:56 pm

    ah, why am i so fucking ugly. the reason why i avoid posting pictures of myself in social media because it makes me feel so cringe as fuck haha i dunno i just hate it, but eh ok no one really cares except me because i'm too conscioussss.

    Reply
  8. Pluttskutt

    December 27, 2018 7:10 pm

    I wish I could change. First I was bullied for my appearance so I didn't care how I looked really because I knew I wasn't pretty. I hated my curly hair so much I straightened it and ruined it. Eventually, I found makeup and learnt to be decent at it and felt presentable. Then I came to like how I looked. Even though no one ever complimented me, I began to feel okay with myself. I found my straightener again and tried it to see the difference after so many years.
    For the first time I got compliments on my hair from multiple people. They said it suited me better than my natural hair. I straightened it for a while after but decided to throw it since I am also bleaching and will destroy my hair again if I do both.
    So no, it's not in the confidence.

    Reply
  9. Tou Xiong

    January 29, 2019 8:18 am

    If I have three wishes I would wish to be better looking, have an unlimited supply of money, and finally find peace within.

    Reply
  10. GayCunt69420

    January 31, 2019 8:20 am

    This is exactly why I don't want do a face reveal. Not only do I hate the way I look, I know the power of the internet. They will not be kind.

    Reply
  11. Joe Mama

    February 25, 2019 9:25 pm

    You never know how others see you. I always thought that I'm ugly, too skinny and my nose is too big, stuff like that. Apparently women see something that I don't. I'm not rich and not particularly charming. I used to be shocked when women were attracted to me. We are our own harshest critics especially regarding our appearance.

    Reply
  12. Damián González

    February 27, 2019 4:13 pm

    Seriously, this video couldn't be more wrong than it already is. This considers beauty as something defined the same by all of us, inherent by birth in people, determined by luck and therefore not possible to change. THIS IS NOT REAL.

    Beauty is subjective. In society as a whole we share some common standards as to what we consider the "perfect body", that's true, but people don't only fall in love with others who share those standards. I, myself, can relate: there's been tons of times that my friends and I argued if someone was attractive or not and we did not agree at all.

    Beauty is not inherent and universal. Take the most beautiful person in the world, and give them a horrible haircut that doesn't suit them at all, are they as beautiful as they were before? No. There are countless cases of "ugly" people that changed (improved) their hairstyle, clothing, skincare, among others, and instantly became "beautiful". Many "ugly" people just feel insecure, have low self-steem, and feel so hopeless of being able to change it that they don't even try.

    This video is bullshit and dangerous. It's telling people who feel ugly that "it's not their fault, they can't help it", when the truth is that they can. If I had let this goddamn video convince me, I would have never got over my self-steem issues, and I would continue living as a miserable human being.

    Wake up. Don't let these messages bring you down. Talk to your friends and family and seek help from a therapist. At first neither will help you, but over time you'll be able to change and improve. If after talking to someone you don't feel good, or they respond negatively, talk to someone else. If after several months (at least half a year) you don't find your psychologist helpful at all then go to someone else.

    Talking to people, instead of bottling up your feelings and thoughts, will give more relief than you can imagine, and it will also help you get close to others. Psychology is a science, it does work, it is proven to work, the problem is that one psychologist who is not good for you.

    Over time, with help and your very own willpower, even without realizing it at first, you'll finally start smiling to you when looking at the mirror.

    Reply
  13. Sakura Fruit

    March 31, 2019 9:13 pm

    I watched this video because I don't get why a person's face determines their value in society.

    Reply
  14. Gg 54

    April 7, 2019 12:34 pm

    I would like to point out that not everything is about the “genetic lottery” you can always control what you eat, how and how much you work out, what you wear, what’s your hairstyle, makeup etc. which can result in having a better body, better skin, hair, nails and overall look. Yes, it’s definitely not everything since you can’t change lets say the shape of your nose but for most people those things might have a big impact on the way they look and feel

    Reply
  15. Bella Rose

    April 26, 2019 1:22 pm

    Im depressed and sad. Why because of the,way i look. People tell me im ugly not im my face but behind my back. All my life i hated the way i look. I couldnt get a job,a,boyfriend or friends. But when i put make up on the first time guys started to like me,i actually got a job. Tru story. I hate makeup, its feels heavy and doesnt show the real me at all. I felt lost like god didnt love me nor my family. I feel ugly and worthless. The worst part i was really poor

    Reply
  16. Bella Rose

    April 26, 2019 1:24 pm

    I wish in this world now that we live in didnt matter about what you look like ,dress or how much money you got. But sadly thats the world we live in
    These celebrities i dont see how they empower women to love themselfs when all they do is show off there fortune and beauty

    Reply
  17. Sonicz Forever

    May 7, 2019 10:31 am

    I don't think you are doomed to a body you don't like. I am an anorexic who survived it by working on body composition to reduce parts I didn't like the shape of rather than weighing very little and dying I carry muscle rather than fat though it has a limit 16 percent for ladies. That said there are things I must accept my skin is one I struggle with it. Age has very little to do with it. I was at my most attractive in my 30s now I am fat. Of course I am dieting down and training. Got that from listening to idiots. Not anymore.

    Reply
  18. bundle wade

    May 10, 2019 5:50 pm

    "It's the ugle that best appreciate beauty." I resonnated with this so much this sentences almost brought tears to my eyes.

    Reply
  19. Zenkua

    May 20, 2019 4:52 am

    I lost the genetic lottery. But somehow a friend of mine won. I envy her, but dont hate her. I cant look her in the eyes because I hate myself. Her parents are pretty plain looking. A plump short mother and tall lanky father. But somehow she looks like a kpop idol. I really try not to think about it. But we have taken pictures together. And been swimming with each other. And I always notice how beautiful and perfect she is in every way. She cut her hair short once. Everyone complimented her. A month later I cut my hair. No one noticed. She is not a confident person, I want to tell her she is so beautiful. But i'm scared if I say it, thats when we wont be on the same level. If she gained that confidence maybe she would realize she doesnt need someone as plain as me. I see all my flaws. My sunken eyes. My yellow teeth. My smile lines. My eye bags. My big nose. I hate it, i'm so sad. I try to tell myself it'll get better and if I focus on my skills i'll be happier. But I see everyday people who are good looking get more ahead than me, no matter what I do. In my opinion nothing will ever cheer me up from the realization that life sucks. I have my home and my shows to make it through life. I just want to be happy… I just want to be accepted… Damn why did I have to be born like this. I just want a hug, or an "i love you." I'm so lonely, i'm so lonely.

    Reply
  20. Cyberdetect 6131

    May 20, 2019 6:33 am

    My monolids,staying monolids are like proof of me not letting myself be controlled by the narcissists who pointed out imperfections of having monlid, one compared me with a person who had double eyelids and said she's prettier directly at me , I was literally commentless to how rude people can be ,and how childish they could continue to stay at such age, just because of some other reasons she disliked me it doesn't mean it is okay to be rude and point out people's imperfections.And that is why I leave my monolids alone which was always pointed out as my weak point from narcissists ,without changing it to some big double eyelids ,staying the way i was born ,there's nothing wrong with it, stop pointing out people's imperfections or making them listen to what you don't like ,i don't need your response to everything.

    Reply
  21. ANYTHINGIWANT100

    May 28, 2019 3:39 am

    I really think confidence makes someone far more attractive than just physical appearance. If you have a model looking person but reserved I don't think they'd be treated as well as an average person who is very confident.

    Reply
  22. Ayana Sioux Art

    May 31, 2019 1:20 pm

    I have a pretty face, but my body is going through it, lol. (Don't use my videos for reference. I look TOTALLY different now).

    but as an artist, I find it easy to find features and qualities a person has that's attractive. I also find some "ugly" people attractive.

    Reply
  23. Shannen Canton

    June 4, 2019 5:02 pm

    If we could collectively vote to change our genes to all be ridiculously gorgeous. No repercussions. Nothing. What would happen?

    Reply
  24. Natsumi San

    June 5, 2019 6:44 am

    I grew up with such a beautiful mom and a handsome dad and hot brothers who are popular. I feel like I'm the only one who is ugly and it sucks especially when your family is the one who is judging you and hurts so much that they always call me fat, ugly . It sucksss !!!! do they think that I wanted to be like this. ?im trying so hard to Change it doesn't make me happy 😔

    Reply
  25. Michal Szczekocki

    June 5, 2019 9:12 am

    Maybe tisue engineering and stem cells therapies will solve this problem one day. I even thought once about starting a company that would exploit this human vanity to simply start making helluva lot of money.

    Reply
  26. Hillary Loves Kpop

    June 9, 2019 10:26 pm

    Well I'm a Chinese Canadian 🇨🇳🇨🇦 girl who is 18 and I use to think I was ugly

    Reply
  27. Salwa

    June 10, 2019 6:41 pm

    Okay well, yeah I’m ugly blah blah blah. But I needed to say this. Doesn’t anyone else find his voice calming and relaxing and charming and Afsgsgaafgaga 😂✨💖

    Reply
  28. T Lemon

    June 17, 2019 11:35 am

    Being able to suffer from one’s looks is so blessed. My country has disease, natural catastrophes, air pollution. We do not even have physiological need. Honestly I feel bad uncomfortable itch though I think it’s super great video

    Reply
  29. Hallucynated H

    June 18, 2019 6:38 pm

    The thing is, If you're not attractive you have to be good at everything else. that's what people expect. But Im not even thatt, Im fucking average at everything.

    Reply
  30. Mykiea Mcafee

    June 20, 2019 2:13 am

    Wtf kinda video is this , damn , video sum up , your ugly get over it and find people who find your ugliness attractive

    Reply
  31. Hea Barang

    June 23, 2019 2:24 am

    Acne makes me ugly and nobody ever know and they keep saying"acne is not the problem that make u ugly but IT IS

    Reply
  32. ᚨᚱᛏᚨᛗᛁᛏᚱᚨ᛫ᛊᚨᛗᚨᚾ

    June 26, 2019 11:52 am

    A simple way to deal with negative comments on one's looks or one's own thoughts of their looks is to know that everyone one is create by god and nature so we should appreciate however we look and not disrespect god's creation.

    Reply
  33. Marc Padilla

    July 14, 2019 5:13 pm

    Does it matter. We all love Star Wars and Star Trek and pc. Live with whatever your dealt. Have fun with it.

    Reply
  34. Sleepy John

    July 17, 2019 12:11 am

    Living in Manhattan, home to the many hopeful of cashing in on their looks, I came to avoid partners who had the narrow definition of beauty foisted on us by pop culture. ONTH at a weekly meeting I realized I’d not noticed a participant, very well dressed, somewhat ungainly proportioned, an odd but absorbing face, what was it about her? I realized in American culture’s worship of a few types of beauty, here was a lady that was positively French in appearance and fashion That was it! How charming she began to appear! I was taken by her. Then came the time for her to speak one week. Egad! She had a voice that could cut glass! I give up. 😃

    Reply
  35. Gavin Hudson

    July 30, 2019 12:57 pm

    This is quite a funny topic. I have been noticing that some women have beautiful feet lately.

    Reply
  36. Gen.Aladeen Handsome

    August 8, 2019 3:16 pm

    Example in basketball. in all players, there will be one most good looking person. all of them have a body odor because of sweat while playing. the girls don't care about the body odor of a good looking person. they still shout and come to him and greet him. but the other boys who did the effort they will say ''Eeew''. while I grown-up I watch the society in the back. and I feel both funny and sadness of it.

    Reply
  37. Demi

    August 24, 2019 3:55 pm

    I accept everyone's looks and try to never judge anyone by their looks. I find beauty in everyone; but for me, I can't stand myself. It's not because of the media or models etc. It's just me realizing that I'm actually not as pretty as I think I am. When I hang out with my friends, they take pictures with me, dress nicely and heck, they take pictures without any filters and they always look stunning! I'm happy for them but I honestly feel like I'm the ugly one in the group.

    Reply
  38. R L

    September 2, 2019 11:51 am

    I hate my body and I hate face an wish I was never born, when your ugly you get a ugly life. mirror mirror on the wall I pray for death after all

    Reply
  39. Your Sweet Sister

    November 1, 2019 3:04 pm

    omg guys I Need to know.. so I have this weird Feeling that I already had with a few People.. so basicly you see someone – you Think he/she is cute (for me izz a guy). So ur Kind of attracted to him but at the same time you kinda feel sexually assaulted when u look at him? OMG IK THIS SOUNDS SO STUPID DON'T HATE ME.. You kinda feel something that makes u uncomfortable. (I am Talking About a guy I don't know for a Long time) It has to do with the persons Looks kinda idk why..

    do you have anything simular?

    Reply
  40. bobabo

    November 19, 2019 5:48 am

    I feel so good in the mirror but ugly in photos lol , it just seems so pixelated and makes my skin look bad and also makes my face look so big

    Reply
  41. Georgedagamer 7

    November 19, 2019 12:25 pm

    Mirror mirror on the wall
    It does not matter if I’m short or tall
    If I have skinny legs or if my hips are wide
    It only matters who I am inside
    Blue eyes black eyes brown or green
    What makes me beautiful cannot be seen
    When you see me don’t judge my parts
    The best thing about me is my heart
    One day you will look back and see
    I am just perfect just being me

    Reply
  42. Matrinique

    November 25, 2019 6:49 am

    I find it hard to believe that there are any unattractive people. Attractiveness can be quantified. It's health, hygiene, and happiness, the most effective being happiness. Take care of yourself, be interested in yourself, put in the effort to look good. Self-love and confidence do manifest physically. That's how you become attractive.

    Reply
  43. Ronas Dembowski

    November 25, 2019 12:16 pm

    Good video but i struggle with the Point that looks suposedly arent personal. Of course they are. If a person feels desired or undesired for their looks it has a direct impact on their personality. The Amount of attention they are used to get for their looks shapes their personality too. And yes an ugly person can still feel good about their looks while a good looking person aimes at beeing even more pyhsically desired. But typically the egos of Persons on a lower rank on the attractivenes hierarchy are in comparison rather fragile.

    Reply

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