Relaxation Tapes


Hey, Denver. (yawn) Wow. Hey Gladys, hey Gladys. Really? What? No, nothing, I guess I’ve just never bored someone that quickly before. Oh, the yawning. No, it wasn’t you. I just haven’t been sleeping all that well. Ahh I see, I see. Yeah, I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m, like, stressed out or something. Well, here, take this. I make relaxation tapes now. Maybe this can help you sleep at night. Uh, yeah, I’ll give it a shot, sure. Thank you so much, Gladys. Alright, I guess we’re gonna give, uh… Gladys’ relaxation tapes a try. (Gladys coughing) 𝘈𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘋𝘦𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳. (coughing) 𝘈𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴. (coughs) 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨’𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘈𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴, and imagine you’re on, like, a really nice beach or something stupid like that. Can’t you just hear the waves crashing in the background? Craaash. Craaash. Everything’s gonna be nice here. And relaxing. And quiet. (loud dogs barking) Oh my god. Uh, yeah, I guess dogs are allowed on the beach, too. But we prefer that they be QUIET! (barking stops) In a world where everybody’s nice to you. Pe-people wave to you. (thunder) Oh, you gotta- you gotta be kidding me. I guess there’s thunder here, too, for cryin’ out loud. It’s fine, just keep your eyes closed. Everything’s gonna be fine. (dogs barking) Alright, so the important thing here is, like, to remember just to stay calm. Your anxiety is just gonna make the dogs angry. (thunder) Oh my god! The dogs are breaking into my house! They’re after blood! Help! Help!


15 Responses

  1. _ billoni

    April 21, 2018 3:37 am

    I like how Gladys had addressed Denver directly in her relaxation tape before even knowing he needed it. So considerate!

  2. S T

    April 21, 2018 10:16 pm

    I really want to know more about Gladys' past. What was her childhood like? What's her favourite drink? What was the most memorable event in her life? So many questions!

  3. Christopher Scheer

    April 23, 2018 12:16 am

    There are so many great things I could list – I'll choose a small one – Denver looks adorable in pajamas.

  4. Joseph Scarbrough Puppet Productions

    April 24, 2018 4:26 pm

    I haven't heard something so effective since hearing what She-Ra's unicorn's voice sounds like!


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