Requested: Guided Sleep Meditation


you may remember a couple people wrote
in and left some voicemail saying it wasn’t clear if it was an insult or a
compliment but that my voice puts them to sleep and I should
look at doing meditation videos so as a goof someone actually sent me a script for like a body scan sleep relaxation guided meditation type
of thing and we actually put it together so if you use this thing and if it works
let us know leave us a voicemail 2192 David P I think it would be kinda funny if
people actually end up using this thing we took it very seriously and here is the body scans sleep relax
Asian guided meditation an I’ll lie down and get comfortable just in
your position is needed to you can fall asleep and even if all you do is relax without
sleeping you’ll be rested and refreshed afterward the body scan sleep relaxation will help
you to relax breathe in deeply all and slowly out to breathe n and slowly readout take slow homebred feel your breathing relaxing there’s nothing you need to do right now
besides breathe calmly just drift relaxing all feel yourself
becoming sleepy ever so slowly getting sleepier law
continue the body scan sleep relaxation enjoying the body scans sleep relax
Asian all who see how slowly you can release the
next breath you take all breathe in deeply all and now
breathe out slowly very slowly prolonging this Brett
doubtful relaxing when you finish breathing out
breathin naturally and then breathe out again slowly law
just keep breathing now letting each breath occur naturally without effort at whatever pace is comfortable for you
feel your breathing becoming call slow easy continue the body scan sleep relaxation enjoying
the body scan sleep relaxation all scan your body beginning at the top of your head and
moving downward turn your attention to your head or
observe moving your attention downward to the
level up your I is all knows or chin all down to your shoulders noticing each area observing how your
body feels keep scanning gradually moving down your
body law how does your upper body feel all
take note of any areas of tension nearing the center of your body at the level up your stomach more how
was this part of your body feeling all keep observing your physical state law
continue to scan your body moving the focus if your attention
downwards more reaching the level up your hips law heap
observing in moving your attention down all how does this part of your body feel
notice any tension without trying to change anything law reaching the level love your needs
out as this area love your body feel low keeps scanning
law all the way down here the all take a moment now to scan your
whole body noticing how your body feels as a whole
where is your body the most tens all focus intently on this one area attention I’ll and imagine the muscles
here letting go of their hold becoming loose becoming relaxed leading the tension go more releasing the tension bit by bit
until this area relax said heal the tensions softening law feel the
muscles as they loosen lengthen low warning in relaxing as if
they’re melting into relax Asian home now notice where your body is the most relaxed all how does the
relaxation feel to imagine this relaxation is warm and
tingly moving spreading to relax other parts of
your body low fuel your body becoming more relaxed as the area relax Asian grows continue
the body scan sleep relaxation enjoying the body scan sleep relaxation all allow your body to relax you your shoulders relaxing the muscles
releasing their whole your legs are still all and they’re
starting to feel having all your feet are very warm feel the warm
spreading as your legs become warmer as well all your arms are getting heavy role heal yourself sinking into the surface
you’re lying on sinking deeper all deeper your whole body is feeling very happy feel the warmth in your hands growing
warmer and warmer all spreading up here arms law your hands
and arms are very happy more blink your eyes
a few times if you want to low notice your eyelids are feeling
heavy they’re getting heavier and heavier and it feels so good to close your eyes
to rest your eyes all allowing your eyes to remain closed low relaxed Lotus a feeling of coolness
in your forehead calm cool and relaxed smoothwall free from tensions law imagine that the
tension in your body is blowing out through your fingers in
your toes draining away with each breath you can feel the tension leaving out your
fingertips and write out your toes all feel the tension leaving your body
draining away all continue the body scan sleep
relaxation who enjoying the body scan sleep
relaxation law let your mind right now for a moment
just relaxing all not needing to focus or think just
drifting as the tension continues to drain away
in your body relaxes all imagine that your body is made up caramel or chocolate or some other solid that can be melted right now your body
is like a solid a hard piece of caramel low imagine a feeling of war starting in
your hands and feet tall that starts to soften the caramel that
your body is made all soon your hands and Peter softball
getting softer and more liquid more the warm spreads throughout your
body from your hands appear arms all feel your arms melting softening law it
is a pleasant feeling very relaxing law feel the warmth as it
comes up from your feet all up your legs more notice your legs
softening as if they’re melting to a completely relaxed state or appeal the core of your body as the warm coming from your arms and
legs meets it your stunning law feel your
core relaxing melting all imagine that your
whole body is very saw like paramount that is melted is soft
and stretchy all simply rest enjoying this relax
Asian loading low relaxing low it’s okay to
just relax now I’ll just allowing the sleep to overtake
you I’ll letting your mind drift off drifting drifting to sleep it feels good
to surrender to the heaviness have sleep low your body is like a feather now loading down gently toward this peaceful
land of sleep feeling your body drifting back and
forth down in down blundering through the air
softly that will soon be coming to rest in this
peaceful place softly resting sinking a peaceful pleasant place so sleepy drifting down sinking down into sleep so deeply asleep and heavy pleasant call dreaming coming to rest on a soft
surface softly sinking into comfort and sleep there are no more words you need to
focus on just call music enjoy the relaxing Asian and allow yourself to drift off into
pleasant deep sleep


65 Responses

  1. Chad Edwards

    February 28, 2014 6:05 pm

    Didn't work. I just kept looking at the screen and wanting to shred those epic mountains on my skis.
    A+ for effort though. 🙂

  2. killingmunch

    February 28, 2014 6:31 pm

    This is hilarious. Although David, if you ever attempt this again, try to talk slower and softer. Still seems like you have the news attitude, which makes it even funnier.


    February 28, 2014 6:59 pm

    The sounds in the beginning kind of relaxed me. But when David started talking i burst out into laughter.

  4. JesusChristIsaBlackgay DeadJewOnaStick

    February 28, 2014 7:18 pm

    didnt work, david kept talking too fast should have thrown louis voice in there also

  5. Hannah Beaugh

    February 28, 2014 7:19 pm

    I use ASMR videos to help me get to sleep sometimes so I thought this might work on me, but nothing haha. You're voice is way too loud and you're talking to fast. You also sound like you're reading a news story. You should definitely try it again, though, you have a good voice.

  6. Mitch Bracey

    February 28, 2014 7:23 pm

    I listen to alot of ASMR relaxing videos. I can only assume that it was an insult from the comment about your voice. 

    Your voice is too monotone and not at all relaxing. Sounds more like a government instructions video than relaxing.

  7. castello west

    February 28, 2014 7:32 pm

    I think it would work great but I just woke up and drank 2 cups of joe! I'll try it later. After this another 2 cups! 🙁

  8. MrOttopants

    February 28, 2014 8:03 pm

    When I used to do shows in front of people, they would say this to me.  I figured out that it wasn't really a good thing to be putting people to sleep as an entertainer.

  9. MalokaiXXI

    February 28, 2014 8:11 pm

    I can understand why people would say your voice would work for sleep guides, and A+ for effort. But I think you should try slowing your speech and dropping the volume of your voice to just above a whisper for the full effect. Its really hard to get it right. Keep trying!

  10. HaleyMary

    February 28, 2014 8:35 pm

    You're more suited for the news videos. You need to speak more slowly.  Kudos for the effort, though.   🙂

  11. Jay L

    February 28, 2014 8:59 pm

    David, in all seriousness, your voice is perfect you just need to soften your voice, kind of like a loud whisper.

  12. alexcuda11

    February 28, 2014 9:18 pm

    7/10. You have room for improvement. I feel like you'd be good at this sort of thing with a little practice. You need to allow for more time between breaths, and generally between transitional moments.

  13. mistert800

    March 1, 2014 12:45 am

    Pretty funny, the deadpan sarcasm is quite hard to take seriously. At least that's the way it came across to me. You should take it up a notch and do a creepy parody of those ASMR videos.

  14. Blacklist

    March 1, 2014 1:55 am

    It funny…. I've head meditations like this many time and your voice does actually work well… Just one major problem…. You are just reading the script… Your not waiting for the person yo do what you're asking. WAY to quick…. I know it's kind of funny for some but on a serious note, it better than some I've heard if you had the pace right.

  15. Michael S. Brooks

    March 1, 2014 2:06 am

    Try Gregorian Chants from YouTube, or if you have a series of CD's, it works faster than David's voice will ever do. Sorry David! Just my opinion.

  16. shandrill13

    March 1, 2014 11:46 am

    Definitely don't take it as an insult. Your voice is just so soothing. That's why we love watching you conducting interviews. You're just so calm 🙂

  17. Kristen Upham

    March 1, 2014 2:25 pm

    I use to fall asleep to bob Ross after coming home from elementary school, listening to his pleasant voice describing those happy trees and happy little bushes. I like that David did this, it is very calming.

  18. Nipunsayswtf

    March 1, 2014 2:27 pm

    Great effort, but needed a more soft voice and pauses in between…. You're asking someone to take a slow deep breath in and then slowly breathe out but the person doesn't get the time to do that since the audio moves on to the next step… Please make another video with those in mind and it would be PERFECT! Coz everything else was great. And A+ for the effort.

  19. Angel Symmetrika

    March 1, 2014 2:35 pm

    As a Wiccan priest with a lot of experience leading guided meditations, my observation is that you speak too quickly during the reading. That is a pretty common mistake newbies make, and certainly one I have made as well.

  20. Sonia Guzman

    March 4, 2014 4:47 am

    This was great. Now if we could only get Neil Degrasse Tyson or Richard Dawkins to do the same thing, that would be heaven! I love their voices!

  21. wheeler1

    March 5, 2014 12:39 pm

    search ASMR on here. that's what I think they were talking about. in fact, TYT did a segment on it a while ago. although, they seem to have taken it just as a joke, it can really help people relax!

  22. Alex Clayton

    March 9, 2014 7:34 am

    "Continue the body scan sleep relaxation, enjoying the body scan sleep relaxation."
    "Keep scanning, gradually moving down your body.  how does your upper body feel?"
    I get the impression David's fighting back laughter with each passing line.

  23. Lexi Burris

    March 12, 2014 6:37 am

    Not sure who said this is relaxing but I should note imagining yourself as melting chocolate is panic attack inducing not sleep inducing.

  24. Kristina Palarchio

    November 1, 2017 5:39 am

    this is not relaxing at all. way too fast. increased my anxiety being afraid I'm missing something.

  25. Farty McGee

    June 3, 2018 4:18 pm

    I tried to do this, but found myself giggling at the image of David recording this shit! Haha


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