Taking Care of Suffering, Challenges and Difficulties | Dharma Talk by Br Pháp Dung, 2019 07 28

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Dear Thay, dear brothers and sisters today is the 28th of July we are now in last week of the summer retreat in the Assembly of Star Meditation Hall in Lower Hamlet We’ve come together to learn how to take care of ourselves, to take care of our family Thay has always envisioned Plum Village to be like a village like this and not like a monastery where there is, you know, where one put really hard effort to meditate and become enlightened but more like a village where we come together to live as a family and to learn how to take care of each other, to take care of our challenges or difficulties as well as to remind ourselves of the wonders of life And so there isn’t so much emphasis on trying to achieve something It’s we might come here to, we have some intention, some people sometimes come for a week and they have to They have an intention to get to the bottom of their suffering or to the bottom of their challenges and sometimes that very idea, that effort, that striving is the obstacle Because it makes us just focus on that task and we forget that this also the wonders of life. The children are not always boisterous and irritating and demanding. They are also flowers and We are also that We have our challenges and we do want to overcome them, to understand them and to learn how to be with them better But it doesn’t necessarily it can also be that there are still there, but we can also enjoy walking Enjoy the flowers, the grass beneath our feet So this is the village practice so it’s not a monastery Village practice is a family, and in the family there are challenges, difficulties As well as wonders beautiful moments and these things can interplay and so that’s our vision for the planet how to take care of our suffering and also remind us the wonder of being alive on this planet and if every one of us on this planet knew how to do that then it would be much more relief in the world, I think And that’s all it is and I think you’re feeling that within yourself and your family and your relationship I’ve been in the practice for a while and even my own family and in the community I’ve learned to just kind of to see that it’s not like you have to get rid of something to get something else but actually learning to actually be at peace with both the suffering and the happiness and so there’s a tendency in us to try to get rid of one and just to want the flowers. Yeah This is a very For me, I was quite naive and I asked, I even asked Thay that “Thay, can I just have the flowers ?” And I remember at the deck and he just smiled at me, You know what it’s like because sometimes you suffer so much that you wish there was a place that there is no suffering, it’s kind of human nature And I think we all want just to be happy, we don’t want to suffer And to be enlightened is to know the relationship between the two and not to be grasping for one and avoiding the other That’s what is the path the path of interbeing Seeing the relationship between our suffering and how it relates to our happiness and that so requires some real reframing, enlightenment can be a kind of like reframing or reviewing retellings our story and this is we are human beings and we have many stories Ideas and notions about who we are About how we were raised about our mother, our father. And these stories we think they are really the truth and you’ll see as you practice and you look at your life in 30, 40 years, 50 years, 60 years, it’s all a process of actually when you have a moment “Ah, I see…” you know, it’s always a little moment like “Oh, why do I do that to myself?” it’s our little moments of enlightenment, right, and that is a kind of liberation The path that the Buddha discovered it’s the path of slowly having aha moments about our suffering, about the nature of our suffering and how to take care of it So today I share a little bit about some of the basic teachings of the Buddha That is quite If we just remember that and then it can always help us And I think you know already the first teaching that the Buddha gave was on the Four Noble Truth and that is the the formula for many things that happen in our life, whether it’s our children our husband, our wife, our partner, ourself, it’s very related to this So I begin with that Four noble truth There is suffering, or I like how Thay sometimes uses ill-being and this goes back to a tendency as I shared, we don’t like suffering and we just like happiness That’s like the first You know the Buddhist path can be seen as retraining reviewing and I like to use the word reconditioning We’re conditioned to just run after happiness, things that give us pleasure and to run away from suffering And we have many ways to avoid that and to suppress it and so on and I think with the families here we We, the monks and nuns we play with the children And for me personally when I play with the children I get to see their character, I get to see how they are being raised the habits they have and I can really I can also sense that it’s gonna be a source of suffering for this one Yeah, yeah, I have a Dharma sharing family and you know, at dinner time it is very clear that it’s gonna be something And you know, I think you aware of that too, but somehow we don’t put ourselves in that, you know as adults You know, we see it in the children is like mmhmm Okay But actually do we see ourselves like that? Do we see that actually we also have been conditioned? Maybe we forgot some of that. But it is still in us, so we have ways that we’ve been conditioned by our family, our mother, our father, our society and That is a source of suffering because of the way we have notions, so this is a And There’s a…, I like to…, my practice has helped me to identify some like three things that I keep returning to, and one is a our notion, our habits first, our tendencies our conditioning our habits So if you begin to see yourself as it’s just a a bunch of habits, that’s a really enlightenment You think you’re free but actually that is kind of a delusion You know, of course we are free but it requires some mindfulness, some concentration and some awareness but most of the time we are very conditioned and enlightenment is to realise that actually a lot of it is our habit. A very clear example is and some of that habit is biological, it’s serve a purpose. We’re hungry, we’ll eat you know But there are other habits there’s habit like brushing your teeth. It’s like you were born not brushing your teeth And why do you do it every day? See right away, that’s a very clear one. And we’re wearing clothes is also a habitual. We call it culture Right, so there’s a lot of habits and in a broader sense, it is our culture, our conditioning Habits and notions we have a lot. So these are some ways that have a I trace my own kind of ill-being, notions we have ideas We’re so proud that human beings can think, we’re creative, we can remember, we can plan But actually part of that is we like to hold on to our way, our notions, our ideas about what happiness is, what the purpose of life What these people are like, what our culture is like, the Vietnamese culture, the Asians are like this, the Germans, the French are like that and so on, so we have these ideas My brother is like that, mmm my sister is like that, I am like that, we we try to get along. Okay, okay. Yeah. And so these things are a source of suffering Our habits, our notions and also, I also have some what I call wounds and like the the children I see, the way they’re growing up they also have conditioning from their ancestors, from their parents, from their grandparents, so they don’t only look like their parents and their grandparents. I met recently a child has blond hair, as the sun, and the mother and father said to me she came out of dining hall and she had brown hair and her daughter had blonde hair and I said, I said “Wow beautiful blonde hair it must be from the father” and they say “No no, no, no we don’t know where the blonde hair come from” The mother says that to me because she has brown hair and then the father came out of the dining hall and I looked there like “okay” but they say they don’t know where it comes from Isn’t that nice, and like it’s probably from your grandparents or even their great-grandparents and you can see so it’s not just your physical trait. You are also getting habitual traits and you can see this in your nieces and nephews and at their relation You know, I have a brother and sister and I know them somewhat, you know we grew up together and I every time I go home go home visit and I see my niece and my nephew Oh my gosh I see my brother and my sister You know, you see that, see so it’s not just their traits, they are also because of their wounds or their habits they have also being transmitted these things and I think this very understandable, very easy to understand But we sometimes live without this awareness this is why being aware of our suffering, being aware of our ill-being is so important why they call it the Noble the Noble Truths Is here the truth here is not, it’s like dogmatic and it’s the only thing, but it’s the way to help us so being aware of this and it makes it noble because it actually makes us very careful so if we’re aware that actually we are conditioned and each person has a notion and they also have some, maybe some slight wounds, that we have to be careful of. Some of them might have some trauma So even wounds more sensitive, so when we are aware of suffering, it helps us be more mindful you see the nature of the nobleness of it So this is to understand that it’s not like “Oh, everything is suffering now, ahh…” The suffering is a way to help us be more mindful Actually suffering, I think you’ve noticed, when you suffer you’re more humble right When you don’t suffer and you’re really who you are, healthy and confident, you’re quite easy to hurt somebody But when you’re suffering and you need help and care, you’re actually a very tender and kind person So actually suffering is really good for humanity, you know suffering is good for a nation. You know, if only a nation could just stop and just come back rather than going around and telling people what to do. So this is. And if we are aware of this Then they can really help us The other thing to be aware of is the the causes Out here I’ll use the conditioning In Buddhism what is beautiful the Buddha when he was enlightened, when he found he thought he touched the nature of reality that moment can be described as he realises the interconnection of everything, it’s such a beautiful moment if we can ever touch that So everything has conditions that give rise to something else And that’s a very good exercise and very scientific if those who love science and the modern ways of thinking try to find one thing that can be by itself and independent of everything else. I’ve done that exercise and everywhere you look, socks, You know, look, your headphone All these formations, all these things that come together and This is not just in the physical realm, the trees, the flowers, the clouds, the clouds you think they’re their conditioned, see So another word we use is a formation. Everything comes together because of other conditions and so it’s not just a physical manifestation or a condition but it’s also our feelings and our emotions, our notions, our habits So it also deals with the area of behavior as well as in the area of our mind so we think feelings we think our habits, they also come from conditioning Our notions, our ideas, you think they’re yours, especially for artists you think you came up with that original idea That’s quite a egotistical and you sign your names like I came up with this beautiful painting but actually, you know, if you had time you’ll probably figure out where it came from And it might be a new idea never done before but it has some relationship to other ideas. Same thing with our pain or suffering so this is mm if we know where the ill-being if we can touch its cause it is the different conditions that made that, it’s also a kind of enlightenment you begin to see ahhh I keep smoking when I am anxious, when I feel nervous It’s not because I want to smoke same thing with the drink You know, I feel uncomfortable, and if you realise and you just be more mindful and you can slowly go into what is underneath, the energy that is making the habit, that is pushing, that is pulling you So these are the two tendencies in Buddhism. There are very nice one is to run towards and run away And it’s like very basic in Buddhism, grasping and aversion very basic habits of us Don’t want suffering, want peace Don’t want my life, I want to go to Plum Village, you know I want to stay in Plum Village, I don’t want to go back I’m sorry, a father said to me last week I don’t want to go, can you talked to the office and just figure out how I can stay here longer? In the office they are up to here about all the requests to stay longer And I was like “No, you bring Plum Village with you, don’t be afraid” and like now you understand why you continue to do that in your family. There’s a matter of training and Yeah, I really felt for a father Yeah, I wish everyone could stay here you know just until they feel confident to leave but like one week, you know, he was quite nervous and so It was very, it was a tough It brought me a lot of pain. I almost wanted to I couldn’t deal with it because it is a logistical thing and also the family also wanted to go back So there’s a tendency yeah, the mother is different idea, different notion and the father has different notion and you see the suffering and and it’s a tough situation. So the monks and nuns, we also get a little taste family life when you come here, and we listen to both sides The most difficult for us is not to choose a side We as monastic we have to stay right there it’s like look, you know, you’re right Mmm, and I have to tell the mother, yes, you’re right too but when they’re both together, I think it’s very hard for me say both of you are right and they’re like You know, they want me to be on their side, you know And I said both of you can be right at the same time. It’s learning how to like dance with it and so this is very family life and I live in the community, it’s not just husband and wife. I I have a hundred brothers and a hundred sisters and It’s a very beneficial training so That’s why Thay said before you get married or have a partner, please come and live here for one year and learn how to be and to take care of yourself. And learn how to be here and not right or wrong or you and me are different These notions, our training is to stay there, say look Anyway, I’m getting tangent here So our tendency is to always choose left or right, you know good or bad my view and your view The other beautiful thing that I think Thay helped me with is he helped me to pay attention more to the well-being there is also I mean, this is not in the Sutra, this is rephrasing from how it helped me is important to say this, for me. It was also important to say there’s also well-being Meaning for me personally, I always, I came from a family that had a lot of challenges My parents were refugees from Vietnam. They lost everything and So they had to grow in a country very foreign to them, did not know the language. So my mother and father not only have the stress of raising a family but in a totally different culture So there was a lot of suffering in in our family but I, and so that was a tendency for me to “No, I don’t want any more of that” and what Thay helped me with is actually it’s okay to have some of that and some of the habits and notions and wounds and pain But also, you know, you can also enjoy life, you know, it doesn’t have to be everything. So like I remember washing dishes became my practice just washing dishes It’s not a chore. It is not a thing to get rid of, to get done so you do something else I remember my first retreat I enjoy finishing my meal so I can go to the bucket and back then we had purple water in the third bucket and I really enjoy and especially coming to the purple water and you put your hand and I remember putting my hand there a little longer and you actually take your time to wash your dishes and for me what that meant was like there are other things for us to enjoy rather than always about our ill-being, our suffering So those things don’t have to go away So the “also” here gives us a little bit more space that they can be together that we can still have some pain but along that we can also have joy and happiness and peace and slowly with the practice you know you learn how to Adjust. Yeah, it’s very, very do-able and here there is a there is a path so of conditioning So I’ll keep using the word conditioning Recently this has inspired by a Sometimes the word for meditation can be translated as a training or cultivating and recently we had a neuroscience retreat and we had a lot of neuroscientists that deal with trauma and in therapy and they were very interested in mindfulness and in Buddhist psychology as well as as the science, the neuroscience, the thing that triggers us and it was very interesting from some presentation from the scientists and I just stuck with me that we it’s about conditioning There is a way to do that and this is what’s beautiful about the Buddhist path That there is a way out and that we don’t have, we can be free and we can actually be We can change our ways of behaving, our ways of looking These are The Buddhist path, the I guess if you say there is an aim is to remove our views and notions. That is the highest I guess that we can touch, we call Right View So in our path the liberation the salvation as Thay would call it is to actually change our view, isn’t that beautiful? We don’t have to change the world but we change our view Our view, right About the nature Our view about suffering and happiness You know happiness is here, suffering is there. Actually we run away from our suffering and our happiness So the Right View sometime is also shared as the view of the Middle Way You see the relationship In Buddhism we’re very allergic and we try not to be too caught in dualistic view Usually there are tendencies like that but you can tell someone a brother’s attainment or realisation by whether he actually the tendency that he has attachment to good food, attachment to chocolate, attachment to a certain project attachment to a certain way I like to be born by myself, I don’t like too many people So these notions you begin you live together and you can see and they go more subtle and subtle and subtle And if you live together in the community is a great place to experiment with this Now you only have husband and wife and a few children. That’s easy Maybe not But if you begin to see life, the world is for us to explore the nature of peace, the nature of how suffering arises, if you begin to see your family as an experiment for you to, like… Mmm, I wonder where he got that from, Honey It makes things a little easier so we remember, ask your husband, ask your partner, ask and hopefully the more you bring up your family you can begin to ask your children. So Honey, where did that come from? What do you think that tendency comes from? Imagine having a conversation with your children like that. Wait, what did you get that? Did you get that from me or from mom, from daddy? And I well, I think I got it from you mommy I love to argue That would be a great conversation in Beginning Anew So, this is a conditioning and and this is my weakness and what I’m working on is the conditioning here I like the word assumptions And this is very subtle and And I see more and more actually I’m on a level of practicing because I assume a lot of things I have a lot of assumptions about my sister’s, a lot of assumptions about my elders assumptions about what the purpose of Plum Village is and so these things assumption about my own self and my role now So it becomes even very really more fine and fine. So this is a see, conditioning is not just like behaviour So the more you are aware that actually you have a lot of assumptions about things it is you’re on the path, but it is, we forget and this is very why we’re here to generate and the three generate more energy. So we are more mindful and less forgetful. If we are more every day remembering that there’s ill-being in us, in the world but there’s also well-being In ourself and in the world. If we are more aware of that The way we walk is very beautiful with the planet alright, but most of the time we are just caught in a way of thinking, a notion or some emotion we’re having and we forget these Noble Truths so the three energies that we use And I just briefly go over And we use this a lot, these three energies In our Upper Hamlet, we have a stained glass window that has the three Smirti, Samadhi and Prajna Energies we need this mindfulness can be seen as being aware aware of our feelings, aware of our body aware of what’s going on. So we train all through Plum Village when the bell sounds come back to your breath, become aware your breath Ah, I’m alive I can breathe fresh air in the countryside, see these things when we become aware we can begin to nourish and create a new habit to pay attention to the well-being so that is the awareness. Concentration is the kind of maintaining it, sustaining it It’s kind of like a new you have to have to cook the potato there, you have to keep it, you know, stop opening up the lid so this is also what’s required and I think concentration could be, what do you call it, making the neuro pathway in the neuroscience retreat neuro pathway more defined So to to begin to compensate for these ideas we need these energies and we need to do it regularly and if you learn anything from Plum Village is about the the schedule and the regularity and the more you do, the more you aware and not just in the meditation hall but while you’re walking to the dining hall be aware of your steps. And Thay emphasised a lot on the walking meditation and why is that? Because most of our day is we’re on our two feet So it’s a wonderful way to train and an easy way to, not easy, it’s you have many opportunities Make a step and you’re aware of your steps and you see you recognise Am I with my steps or am I distracted? So you breathe in I have arrived I’m home Arrived, I’m home. So what does this have to do with my suffering? If you can manage being focused on your breath and your step that will be the energy that will keep you aware of what is going on so when the fire is burning, when the house is you know, in trouble these energy will help us So when we have a strong emotion come up it is the same breathing the same stepping thaat allow us not to run, not to like find something or needing something, yeah and not to push it away or like turn on the TV or get on the internet or grab a book or go get some food. So the tendency, our habits we begin to be aware of it and these training of walking, of breathing how you put all of your energy into the bottom of your feet You put all of that there and you train to have the habit of actually transferring the energy down Because most of the time we have emotions and we have strong stuff that come up very highly all the energies up here so we learn to bring it down So when we have feelings come up or a past memory come up we learn to take that energy and move it through your body and the focus on the feet is a wonderful transfer you see So you train this habit so that when these trauma, these emotions come up you have a handle and What’s beautiful about Thay he shared and I don’t think I found any teacher share this yet It’s like you just need to know how to suffer and you will suffer less I mean that is and you have how many people teach you, tell you you need to know how to suffer. And that’s kind of strange this teacher tell a student like you need to go back and learn how to suffer and you will suffer less And I was like, wow, first time I heard that I’ll never forget it That is so true and you see the “also” and you don’t need to get rid of one side to have the other. It’s so so But it’s very hard to do Right, it’s very hard to be with our suffering and this is that is, as a young man, that was the hardest thing for me to actually to admit that I that I have ideas about my father and that those ideas are the suffering and it’s it’s not like my father is caused me suffering he’s causing suffering to the family, but it’s actually the way I looked at it and that was a moment for me so these are insight We need insight and so when we practice awareness and we maintain this awareness not forgetfulness aware of our family, aware of our own upbringing We just learn to be with it and learn to nourish yourself So the first four exercise of the full awareness of breathing, the Sutra, is to take care of our body so the breath and then our body so the breath and the body are very connected and the second, fourth And I’ve always wondered about this and I’m still wondering about it and the Buddha when it comes to feelings The first two the Buddha encourages to learn to generate joy and happiness And then to recognise our other feelings and I imagine they’re these feelings, the pain the kind of difficult, the challenging feelings so we just say maybe the other painful stuff and and learn how to calm it So calm is here and calm is here So you see what Thay shared learn how to take care of your suffering and then learn how to nourish your joy and happiness So this right here is where they can go together and actually Mmm, if you look closely we see in health, in recovery you don’t operate, you don’t don’t treat the illness unless the person is healthy enough and so the same with the psychology don’t try to dig it up, don’t pick at the wound until you have enough nourishment and joy in your life that they should go together So the healing is not about retreating and being with your suffering only, the healing is also going out in the garden picking the you know, going out to enjoy nature to find also nourishment at the same time as your yeah, and that is where it’s difficult where we have to train not to push the suffering away and to just run after the other. See the dualism again So here is actually where Yeah, there’s a question like oh, you know in Buddhism they seem to say, you know, just keep everything neutral and be mere awareness and just accept everything non judgmentally and so on and and they will be, and that is the liberation and I think this is something for us to contemplate that the Buddha actually he emphasises us to nourish ourself first And I think in human behavior, you can probably understand if you’re not happy you cannot heal and help anybody and I think in behavior is already you can see that’s why in Beginning Anew or in in sharing a difficulty the brothers and sisters encourage when you do so, you have to have three flowers to one compost or maybe two flower and one compost, yeah Because it’s very hard to share a suffering, share you know you have this strong habit, Honey, and you start right off like that and that person will not listen to you It’s like look No But if you start off, Honey, I’m so appreciative of you in the family, this whole week you’ve been so kind and I just wanna let you know and I know you’ve been really hard this week. So you begin to appreciate them. You share their beautiful qualities I know it’s really tough for you this week, and it was very tough for me. And that’s why I think the other day I kind of exploded at you and then you exploded back. Then you start to begin to look at what happened. You see the flower and the compost, you get to the compost if you start from the top, go the flower then the leaf and then the smelly But don’t go like oh, yeah, I appreciate you BUT you know, I’d like to tell you something that’s like chop the flower, you know you have to be very, don’t you every use the word BUT Because I notice I’m very allergic to “Ok, what do you want? Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead” You were just doing the other stuff out of protocol is yes, it’s nonviolent, is that but you want something So we have to be very careful people are not you know trash bin and your wife, your husband, your partner they are flowers And we need to take care of them and we, ourselves are flowers So we need to take care of the compost, the earth, the pot and if we can take care of the pot, the soil, keep it healthy, the season will have its own thing and I assume you have to let go of some leaves, you know and so the nature of the practice is very, Thay would say very organic Yeah And this is for me, you remember I wanted just this And and it’s just a beautiful way of looking at the nature of suffering and happiness that they they need each other And you know a famous Thay would say left and right So the Buddhist path, the insight the Right View is to slowly with the practice of mindfulness, of concentration These things will help us hold that insight, the concentration so in Buddhism the insight is not something oh I get it and then it’s but the insight need to actually have influence on our habits the way we think about each other, we think about ourself these insights of impermanence, of interbeing, of peace, they should help us heal and not just become another notion Especially you come to Plum Village you have all these ways and ideas Mmm how things should be in your family. That’s great. That’s an insight. But it becomes a notion when you come home and you tell your family to do it like that You see the difference? So the insight should help liberate you and not, the insight should all of a sudden, now you have an idea, a notion of how things should be and this is very important in relationship and and many of us are in relationship and this is something we all are practicing with how to liberate ourselves from our habits, from our notions and to heal with our wounds and Thay also helped me understand that, you know, some of our wounds are there still and we just have to have trust we don’t have to always try to get to the bottom of it, but that, that we know it’s there and it’s not completely healed and it’s okay Yeah, that’s also a beautiful compassionate practice. So don’t push yourself so hard to like heal and you can sense that habit wherever you get sick, have you ever gotten sick and you want it to get over quickly? That is a habit but actually sickness is a healthy thing It’s your body reacting to foreign stuff that it’s kinda, so sickness is actually you lay there and is hot and you’re sweaty It’s actually your body is doing exactly what it needs to do, if it’s not doing that then you’re in trouble But we rush it, we take medicine to kind of hurry up, let’s get this heat over with, this aching and your body is doing that and I remember to practicing this in my third, fourth year, I remember getting sick I remember laying there and not taking any medicine just drinking hot water and Enjoying my sickness I know it sounds funny, but I Invite you next time you’re sick don’t have the habit and seeing that this should not be happening, let’s get this over with if you can handle that then you look at your suffering differently and when you suffer Okay, I’m going through again I’m feeling sad No one understands me I’m misunderstood And learn to be, don’t rush that, because we rush that therefore the insight you miss the opportunity So the secret to the practice is being present to it being fully present and accepting it and then it will have a teaching for us. That is what the Buddha did he tried really hard the other way, you know suppression and the body and this world of suffering. He went to many teachers And what happened he burned out the Buddha burnt out I shared this in the last few… accidentally. I hope is not disrespectful but the Buddha burned out after many many months trying to overcome suffering And he almost died crawling to a river they say, you know But I like to just simply say the Buddha burned out and we burnt out striving to get to the bottom of it and For me the Buddhist teaching is much more compassionate and the Buddha realised that we don’t have to try so hard, you know, or try to force our family, force ourselves Our practice is more humanistic Or earth-listic maybe. Yeah, the planet Earth is so forgiving, Mother Earth Okay, you ruin me, all this toxin, you’re gonna blow me up with all these nuclear weapons, it’s okay I will come back I’ll see you again Mother Earth is saying that When we wake up to this it will help us and will help us know how to behave towards each other towards animals, towards the forest, towards the ocean And I think this enlightenment is a Thay would share the needs of collective awakening. We need to each one of us go out there and be differently in our family, be differently in our neighbourhood be differently wherever we go, in the workplace, in the grocery store So, we each one of us need to maintain this concentration that everybody is, in them is a little child as well they’re not just an adult, they’re also a product, a conditioning of their family and when we see like that, oh you know like, okay I understand that’s why you’re giving me a hard time you know, you hold that, recently I was in a office and you know is somebody very…, you know, and you see, you remember ahhh but we forget because he stir you up and you get emotional and then what happened? It’s like you judging me because I look different You judge me because I’m Buddhist You know these notions just let go Poor young one you see the child in them And all of a sudden your viewpoint your notion change You see, … okay Okay, yes So this is the way we need people to walk around now, and this is a good start Start here with your family, with the children so when you wait in line for food maintain this awareness, every child is receiving something different When you wait in line for lunch, for dinner maintain this compassion for all the beautiful mothers and fathers who bring their children here and all of a sudden the way you look at children, the way you look at people not afraid You see we have certain conditioning that we’re afraid of people, afraid of a child crying and like, you know You ever seen a young boy with the mother Yeah, right there in the dining hall, you know Ahh, and I see some very afraid some men are afraid of that and it’s because we’re losing our concentration, see you focus on the mother and say “oh, poor mum” and then you support the mom and the dad and slowly, slowly, each year they come and I’ve seen this from, … It’s so beautiful, now teenager running around and the way they look at the world very different. And so please be aware of that and that Thay’s vision for us It takes a long time because it’s not revolution. It’s a small, slow, self revolution So this is our teachers’ love and we need to continue it and to spread it out and to pass it to our young ones and do those we come in contact with So please help Thay to help the monks and nuns by your practice Thank you for coming to enjoy and to support us.

 

8 Responses

  1. BeKi 13

    July 29, 2019 10:06 pm

    wow – such a profound lesson 🙏🏻❤️ so worth to listen again and again … thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

    Reply
  2. hilde van vlasselaer

    August 1, 2019 11:05 am

    Hilde Van Vlasselaer
    You are the best! I have listened to all your dharma talks on YouTube over and over again and you made me a better person. Thanks very much.

    Reply
  3. Marie Wintzer

    August 3, 2019 1:56 am

    Thank you infinitely for so many wonderful dharma talks. I feel so grateful to have access to this.

    Reply

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