What is Stress? | 6 Ways to Deal with Stress | Web Series: Ep 1/7 | Pujya Gurudevshri Rakeshbhai

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Who is stress-free here?
Stress-free? Wonderful group,
very honest. I was waiting for 1 or 2 donkeys
who would say, “I am stress-free.” Then I would say he is a donkey. Because the rule is: No one born
on this planet can be stress-free. If he is stress-free,
he is from Mars or Mercury. Maybe you don’t know
the meaning of stress. Maybe you don’t
understand what is stress. Maybe. There is nothing like
lying or bragging or anything. You might not know, you might
be ignorant, what is stress. ‘Stress’ word is more used in
the western world, correct? If you go to US, UK, they’ll say,
“There is a lot of stress…” They speak the same way
in Gujarati as well. In India, mostly we don’t use the word
stress, except for the new generation, But we say, “There is
a lot of tension.” Right? So, here we use tension, And there we mostly…
now it has come here also, But mostly, if you
ask your parents, They will not use the word stress, they
will say, “We are in a lot of tension.” So no one is without stress; but why
is stress seen as negative only? Stress is useful
also in many ways. Every time it is, ‘There should not
be any stress, manage your stress.’ Maybe I will also teach you that,
because I have to be with the trend. But why is stress seen
as only negative? Stress has its benefits. Can anyone tell me? What can
the advantages of stress be? (It brings out the best in you.) Wonderful, it brings
out the best. It acts as a driving
force, motivating force. Very good. It keeps you focused.
Perfect. Focus. (If you have a deadline, you
can work, if there is stress on you.) That is why you have stress, but
what is the advantage of stress? You are right, See, if I were to
tell you right now, If I would have told you
in the 4th standard, “You study. Whenever you are
ready, I will take your exams.” You would not have given
the exam till date. Right or wrong?
(Right!) But you are told that the exams
will start from the 6th. So, you stayed up all night
for the last 6 days, Whether you threw up
or had a headache, Whether you had to drop cricket
or football, but you did it. So, planning. Suppose this was not the case,
if there was no stress, Would you have planned? You would have become so lazy. Then, suddenly you would have
been stressed out on the last day. ‘I am not prepared.’ So you plan your work,
then you work your plan. Everything comes only because of stress;
whatever you are stressed about. If I keep a deadline, I want to lose these many
kilograms before Mansarovar, Every day I will say,
“I don’t want to have this.” “I don’t want to have this pudding,
I don’t want to have this…” “I don’t feel like
drinking coconut water.” “In case it increases my
weight by 500 grams!” But what if that was not there? It did cause stress. Because every time you have to
constantly think about that. So, you do get stressed. But so many other things
came along with that. You got focus, planning, a
motivating force, so many things. So stress does have benefits, and
it is beneficial also in some way. Then why is stress
called harmful? Usually we hear that
stress is not good. When it is continuous
stress, it is harmful. It paralyses your mind, your enthusiasm,
your joy, your peace of mind, Everything goes haywire.
Correct? So, I would say there
are 2 types of stress. Try to understand.
1) Natural Stress By natural stress I mean,
due to some circumstances. If I have assigned you something,
‘Now start planning for the retreat.’ Then obviously your mental traffic to get
up in the morning, to do this, to do that, Instead of that will you
get more thoughts or not? With the influx of thoughts, will you
feel a little pressurised or not? Since you are doing out of devotion,
you won’t. But in general. So there will be an
increase in stress. But what will happen once
the retreat is over? Then that stress won’t be there. Means once you have
submitted the accounts! It will be there till then. So,
it’s due to some circumstances. You experience some stress at the time.
Take exams for example. Do you feel stressed
once the exams are over? Do you have any stress about the result,
because now nothing can be done. Maximum now find someone
who can… 1) Natural Stress
or stress due to some circumstances. Circumstances go;
stress also goes, on its own. 2) Habitual Stress It has become your habit. To find something negative today. If there is nothing negative, just
visualise, ‘What if this had happened!’ ‘What if this happens?’ You visualise this.
And then you are in stress. When you are in stress, you say 2 things,
‘I can’t understand anything!’ Is that right? Even while studying,
if you are in stress, You sit with the book, but
nothing goes into your head. Someone opposite you says something,
but it just doesn’t register. This is a sign of stress. There is a second one as well,
‘I just can’t forget it.’ One thought has entered your mind.
Now you want to stop that. ‘Never mind what happened;
never mind what he did,’ ‘Now just forget it and go ahead.’
But the thought just doesn’t leave. These 2 happen, right?
Either nothing registers, Or something has entered and you want
to get rid of it but you are unable to. So, this is habitual stress.
Ladies have it to a greater extent. One mother goes to a saint and says,
“Baba, I am too much in stress.” “What happened?” “Will my daughter get married
into a good household?” The saint could also understand, If the girl had
turned 24-25 years, Parents may get sleepless nights,
especially if they are Gujarati parents. Whether she will get
a good alliance or not. “How old is your daughter?”
“3 years. She is a baby.” But it’s the force of habit. ‘She may be 3 right now, but once she
is 25, will she get a good alliance or not?’ Will she get married or not?
Now, this is habitual stress. Stress out of some imagination. You visualise, fantasise something, and
you create something about the future. ‘And what if that happens?’ And you remain
overburdened from now. A person goes to a saint. “I am unable to conceive,
I am unable to have kids.” “I have done all the possible
treatments, but to no avail.” When you fail everywhere,
you go to the saint, right? First, you visit a doctor.
Then you go to God. Even then when nothing happens, you
feel, ‘Let me now visit a Baba.’ “Please give me some mantra by
which I can have children.” The saint said,
“The mantra is ready.” If people ask for such things,
he has to keep it all ready. “The mantra is ready.
The only condition is,” “Find me 3 people who have
children and are happy.” “They have children, and they are
very happy with their kids.” Even your parents wouldn’t come. In fact, they would say, “We have only
one grievance, why is he like this?” Right or wrong? “He doesn’t listen to us, comes home late,
chats till 3 a.m., and doesn’t sleep,” “His morning starts at 11, etc.” There was one person. He was so tired of his stressful
life in Bombay. So he decides to
go to Mansarovar. This fellow goes to that saint, and
that saint is sitting in the Himalayas. And sitting at Mansarovar. “Baba, I am very tired; very
stressful life in Bombay.” “I have come here
for some peace.” You know how the saint reacted? “Oh wow! You came from Bombay?” “Bombay is a very nice
place isn’t it?” He likes that,
the other one likes this! Just as you feel, ‘Once in this life,
I must go to Manhattan, to New York,” The person from New York feels,
‘There is so much peace here.’ He likes it here, and this
one likes that. Obviously. So what I am saying is there
are 2 types of stress. 1) Natural You should not have that either
if you are really spiritual. But that you can understand. Exams are approaching –
so stress. The football final match
is coming up – so stress. But on the 91st minute,
there is no stress. Because everything is over. So, one is circumstantial,
and one is habitual. So, don’t you realise, this habitual
stress is very harmful for you.

 

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